Clinka's Apples

Marketing for Children.

2012-01-02T19:24:00.005-05:00

Today is Nora's fifth birthday. After a day of festivities she was in the bath. She looked at her legs and said: "Mommy, why is there hair on my legs?". I replied: "Because you have hair on your legs, it's ok - Mommy does too." (it is winter, after all...).

Her response?: "Mommy, we need to get a 'no! no!', you rub it on your legs - and they are hair-free for weeks!".

If only I would have known, I could have bought her one for her birthday instead of Serafina, the Fidjit that says the same five things over and over...

jbxo

baby talk.

2011-08-30T21:47:00.005-04:00

Nora is spending some time with Nanny and Pop this week. Nanny emailed me the following conversation she had with Nora today in the car:

Nora: I see a crane.

Nanny: Yes, it's downtown. That's close to where your Daddy used to live, downtown. They're building a big parking lot there now.

Nora: Did I live there too?

Nanny: No you weren't born yet.

Nora: Was I in Mommy?

Nanny: No, Daddy didn't know Mommy yet. They weren't married yet.

Nora: Where was I?

Nanny: You weren't here. Then Daddy met Mommy and they got married and then they had you and Julian.

pause for thought..........

Nora: Did you have any children?

Nanny: Yes, I had 3.

Nora: Who are your children?

Nanny: Daddy, Uncle Ian and Aunty Jenny.

Nora: and Mommy.

Nanny: No, not Mommy.

Nora: Not Mommy? Who got Mommy?

Nanny: Grandma

Nanny: Grandma got Mommy?

Nanny: Yes, and Aunty Shari and Uncle Brad. Grandma had three children too.

Nora: Aunty Shari doesn't have children.

Nanny: No.

pause........................

Nora: I don't want to have children either.

Nanny: No?

Nora: No. I don't! Do I have to have them?

Nanny: No but you're only young now you might change your mind.

Nora: No, I won't! I want to be like Aunty Shari. She doesn't want childrens either. I'm just going to be me!

Nanny: Okay then.

pause.......................

Nora: When we get back I want to ride the scooter around the block and take Bella for a walk.

Nanny: Okay then.

Nora: and I'm not having children.

Nanny: Okay then.

jbxo

a religious experience.

2011-04-04T20:59:00.005-04:00

I spent a lovely weekend at my parent's farm with Julian and Nora. On Saturday I drove them to my grade school, they played on the playground, which, by the way had changed SIGNIFICANTLY since my days there! There is now one, large play unit - like you would find in your local park (primary colours and very safe)... when I went to the school we had:

1 set of monkey bars

1 set of swings

1 row of see-saws (teeter-totters... not sure which is correct)

1 row of tires... yes, tires... ranging in size from car to truck to TRACTOR, all buried half way in the ground - the goal being to jump from one tire to the next (I am surprised there were no casualties on the tractor tires - they are HUGE!). Julian didn't seem to believe me when I told him we used to play on tires at school. He kept asking me to "tell the funny story about the tires" again and again.

I decided we should go for a walk to the cemetery (behind the school and church) as a few of my relatives are resting there. Julian and Nora decided they would walk around and pick up the "stray" artificial flowers that have fallen away from their holders during the snowy winter. They each walked around with handfuls of plastic and silk florals. We brought most of them to my grandparent's headstone. They neatly placed the flowers into the soil in a row. Nora wanted to be different and decided that she would put hers on graves of people we didn't know. At first Julian didn't like this at all - but after a while he was okay with it.

The headstone next to my grandparent's has an engraving of Jesus on it. At one point Nora was trying to decide where she should put the flowers when Julian said: "Hey Nora, you should put some on Jesus' spot. Everybody likes Jesus."...

jbxo

P.S. Julian saved a blue flower to give to his friend Isabella. He told me he gave it to her at school today, but one of the children said it wasn't a real flower. Julian said he told Isabella that it is a magic flower because it will never change... love it.

obviously...

2011-03-30T23:23:00.004-04:00

Julian is at Grandma and Poppa's farm for the week, and we brought Nora out for a treat tonight. She picked out a little bunny toy at the store. During dinner I asked her if she had named the bunny. She said yes. I asked her what the bunny's name is. She took a long pause to think about it, then she replied: "His name is Bunny." pause... "I named him that because he is a bunny." pause... "Bunny is a bunny."

jbxo

lost in translation.

2011-03-07T20:15:00.005-05:00

Singing a little Lady Gaga with Nora tonight:

Me: "You're beautiful in your way, 'cause God makes no mistakes, you're on the right track..."

Nora: "Baby you were born this week."

jbxo

belly.

2011-02-23T22:33:00.006-05:00

This is a photo of my lovely cousin, Ashley. Actually, she is technically my cousin's daughter - but that makes me feel rather old, so let's just call her my cousin. She is a very talented photographer who is expecting her first baby soon.

I always felt very lucky that I truly enjoyed both of my pregnancies. I never felt ill. I didn't gain more than the recommended 25lbs. I truly felt like I was glowing. I'm pretty sure I felt exactly like Ashley looks... however, I am VERY well aware that I looked nothing like this.

Congratulations Ashley!

jbxo

Ashley's work can be enjoyed here.

I am not making this up...

2011-02-10T19:32:00.004-05:00

Conversation with Nora tonight after her bath:

Nora: "Mommy, I love the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!"

Me: (not so much as a question, but more in a: "hello, me too!" kind of way) "Who doesn't?!..."

Nora: "Daddy?"

I still can't stop laughing.

jbxo

Happy Day.

2011-02-05T21:10:00.003-05:00

Worst part of yesterday: Julian telling me he knows I'm "too busy" to bring cupcakes to school for his birthday.

Best part of yesterday: The look on his face when I arrived at school with cupcakes.

I love you J-bug, happy birthday.

jbxo

Plastic.

2011-01-14T23:23:00.005-05:00

Nora is only allowed to bring "soft" toys to daycare. Teddy bears, stuffed kitties, her favourite stuffy, a little brown dog named "Chocolate". She knows the rules, but, of course, like every 4yr old girl - she likes to try to challenge them.

A few days ago we were getting ready to leave and she was holding a new Barbie from Christmas when we had the most interesting conversation:

Nora: "Mommy, we can't bring Barbie to school."

Me: "Right, Nora - because she isn't soft."

Nora: "Yes, Mommy... because she is too tight."

Silence.

jbxo

Old.

2010-10-08T22:12:00.005-04:00

Forgive me, as I am feeling a little old tonight. Not in a bad way, just in an odd realization kind of way. A few days ago driving in my car I heard the Beatles song: "I've Just Seen a Face" and it really captured me. I can't quite explain it, but I wanted to cry hearing it. I had obviously heard it many times before, but this time it just sounded so simple, beautiful, and, well... old.

Tonight Julian and Nora were playing in the basement, Andrew was lounging with his Blackberry, and I started to look through a tote box of greeting cards and letters. I have saved every card and letter that I have ever received. I am not a hoarder, but for some reason I can't part with greeting cards and letters. I just feel that when someone takes the time to write something to me, it would be wrong to throw it in the garbage. I spent an hour reading letters my sister wrote to me in University, letters from girlfriends, love letters from boyfriends past, wedding invitations and greeting cards. My heart ached reading all of those beautiful, handwritten words. I am officially in that place where (I can't believe I have actually thought this, and am now going to write this): "I miss the good old days". The days when people WROTE to one another on pieces of paper, carefully folded and placed that paper in an envelope, addressed it, placed a stamp on it, and then patiently waited for the recipient to receive it, read it, and reply. My tote box of old letters and cards smells like a library book now. I love that smell.

Tomorrow John Lennon would have turned 70 years old. I remember when he died, I was 8 years old. I'm getting old, and I think I'm okay with it.

Look at how Yoko is looking at John in this photo. Isn't it beautiful? I guess getting old feels okay, as long as you can look at someone like this as they get old right along with you.

jbxo

Perception.

2010-09-09T22:35:00.003-04:00

The days are getting colder here - and we are in that awkward stage between summer and fall when you don't really quite know how to dress in the morning.

Today I was feeling particularly uninspired by my closet and opted for basic, classic black. Black trousers, black shirt with black belt, black jacket and red shoes (of course).

I walked to the car and as I sat down Julian said: "Mommy, you are wearing black." I replied: "Yes, I am." Julian's response: "Mommy, are you a ninja?"

jbxo

Suzy revealed.

2010-07-29T20:24:00.004-04:00

Every night before bed, for as long as I can remember, I have been telling Julian special bedtime messages brought to me by "Suzy the Night Fairy". Suzy gives me insider information on what wonderful, magical thing Julian is going to dream about that night, and I relay this information to Julian. The odd night that I have forgotten, Julian quickly yells from his room: "Mommy?! You forgot Suzy the Night Fairy! What did Suzy tell you?!"

I have to admit, I - I mean - Suzy has started to run out of dream ideas. Especially during the week, when Suzy has worked all day and is exhausted. Lately the solution to this dilemma has been to quickly scour Julian's room for ideas - or remember something he did that day, and make it into a wonderful dream he is going to have. Perfect solution - right?... Well, I thought so until tonight:

Julian: "Mommy, what did Suzy the Night Fairy tell you about my dream tonight."

Me: (eyes half closed) "Um..." (I look around the room and spot a Spiderman comic book in his bed) "Suzy says tonight you are going to be Spiderman, and you are going to have all sorts of crazy and wonderful adventures - and you are going to catch all the bad guys!"

Julian: (exasperated) "Ugh! Mommy... all you do is make Suzy the Night Fairy tell me dreams about whatever I do that day, or whatever I'm looking at!"

Caught. Red handed. No words...

Me: "Goonight sweet pea!"

jbxo

Cheerio.

2010-07-08T23:21:00.008-04:00

I made a discovery about myself this week, one that I am not necessarily proud of - but one that is true all the same. I blame the following fact about myself on having a 3yr old and a 5yr old... ok here it is:

I have discovered that I will eat a Cheerio in my house, wherever I find one. Whether it is honey nut, multigrain or regular... on the counter, in the sink, and yes, even on the floor. I will pick it up, look at it (I am not quite sure what I am looking for, exactly) and eat it.

So there.

jbxo

Twenty-eight pounds.

2010-06-20T23:27:00.005-04:00

Tonight Nora stood on the scale at Nanny & Pop's. She looked down at the numbers on the scale, looked up at me and said: "So, mommy... how old am I?"

jbxo

The weight of love...

2010-06-06T22:38:00.001-04:00

Me: "Nora, how much do you love me?"

Nora: "Hmmm... 4 pounds."

jbxo

Why couldn't I think of this?

2010-04-27T22:40:00.009-04:00

"A Love Story"

by: Kelly Vanderslice

Available on Etsy by clicking the link above.

jbxo

Earth Love.

2010-04-16T21:49:00.004-04:00

Tonight during dinner:

Julian: "Mommy, I love all of the people all over the earth."

Me: "Wow, that's nice."

Julian: "Even strangers. Even people who speak Spanish."

jbxo

J-bug.

2010-03-09T20:02:00.004-05:00

He loves to listen to CBC Radio 2.... his favourite segment? The news.

He is very concerned about the state of the world, particularly with natural disasters.

I'm quite certain he is a musical genius, who's interests range from Classical, Jazz, to Lady GaGa.

When he tinkers around on the piano it sounds like he is actually playing a song.

Before bed he asked if we could talk about water treatment plants, particularly the difference between the treatment of household waste water to storm water.

He is all of these wonderful things, and he still likes to rub his food on his face whilst eating it.

jbxo

happy birthday noo noo.

2010-01-02T23:15:00.000-05:00

Tonight I sat and watched the photos scroll by on our computer (screen saver) and I wept like a baby.

It is so true when older people say: "it all goes by too quickly".

You are already 3 years old my baby, my sweet girl.

Happy Birthday.

I love you. I love you more...

jbxo

If only.

2009-11-07T10:35:00.007-05:00

The days are growing colder in Canada, but in another part of the world another summer approaches, and a family is missing their little girl. No matter what the weather is where you are, please share this message with every mom and dad you know.

For the Superprincess.

jbxo

Click on postcard to view larger.

Shared with permission from Sheye Rosemeyer.

Oh, so scary.

2009-10-19T22:24:00.003-04:00

I went to the big city over the weekend to visit my lovely friend, Jenny. I was taking the train home after a very relaxing two days. We enjoyed some shopping, lunch with champagne, pizza and wine, an afternoon nap and a great night's sleep... ahhhh... I put on my iPod, leaned back in my seat, and began to close my eyes. No one was asking me for anything... just me, so very relaxed. Something caught my attention in the train car ahead of me. A figure swung around the corner, stealth-like... and was hiding behind the entry way to the car I was sitting in. I could feel my heart begin to pound harder. I could hear every beat in my ears. Slowly, methodically the figure was moving. Sliding something from it's back.... two very large, very sharp swords. I thought I was going to be sick. I could barely breathe. Then I saw the clothing... all dressed in black, face covered. A Ninja. How is this possible? A Ninja on the Go Train. Surely this couldn't be happening, certainly it wasn't all going to end like this. The Ninja then stormed down the steps, running towards me. I gasped, I was about to scream.... as the Ninja came nearer I closed my eyes tightly, and opened them just in time to realize the Ninja was a 6 year old boy, in his Halloween costume.

Boo.

jbxo

Photo: Nora's First Halloween 2007

deep thoughts...

2009-09-27T21:02:00.001-04:00

I don't know why, but sometimes Julian gets in a contemplative, retrospective, somber mood. He will grow quiet, and sadly say to me: "Mommy, I don't want to die, because I will miss you - and I don't want my eyes to be closed all the time." Nora's response to this is (in a teary voice): "Mommy, I don't want to drive."

jbxo

Post-Modern Baby.

2009-09-22T21:47:00.012-04:00

On Monday I was driving Julian and Nora home at the end of the day when the following conversation took place:

Julian: "Mommy, do you know where babies come

from?"

Me: (thinking, Oh God - this conversation can't really be happening... he is only 4.5yrs old... I haven't read that far ahead in the "how to take care of your children manual") "Um, how?"

Julian: "Babies come out of your bum, Mommy."

Me: "They do?"

Julian: "Yes Mommy. Babies come out of your bum, and they are black."

Me: (shocked, and about to lodge a formal complaint to school/daycare) "Julian, where did you hear that."

Julian: "My book."

Me: "What book?"

Julian: "My baby book."

Me: "What baby book."

Julian: "My baby book in my closet on the top shelf. The pink one."

Then it hit me. 1 month before Julian was born I found a Keith Haring book called: "Babies" and I fell in love with it. I purchased it in honour of our baby-to-be. On the inside cover I inscribed: "to Julian, love mom & dad xox 01.2005". I remember the excitement I felt making the purchase... picturing going through all of the wonderful works of art with my little baby boy. The book features one of Haring's signature images, the "radiant baby". As written on the inside cover, there are: "pregnant women dancing giddily, babies with halo and wings, cradled in their mother's arms or playing with their dad." About 6 pages into the book there is also the image of a woman (in blue) giving birth to a baby (in black) with the assistance of another individual (in green). I hadn't looked through the book since Julian was a baby. It is kept on the top shelf of his closet with all of his other "special books". Last week he had asked to look at it, and I happily handed it to him, thinking to myself: "Good choice, buddy!".

Yes, Julian at the fragile age of 4.5yrs is now fully versed on the in's and out's (literally) of childbirth, all because I wanted to raise him with a keen appreciation for art.

jbxo

joy.

2009-09-10T22:23:00.008-04:00

My friend Lisa has always liked my handwriting, and she recently asked me to write this out so she could have it tattooed across her back.

joy: the passion of emotion excited by the prospect of possessing what we love.

Five years ago I also drew a butterfly that her mom had tattooed "somewhere" as well.

I can't really explain how it feels to know that my handwriting is out there, existing permanently on her, except to say that it brings me a lot of joy...

Thank you Lisa.

jbxo

the note.

2009-09-04T21:23:00.007-04:00

It was a monumental day at our house today... Julian and Nora had a babysitter for the first time. Well, a babysitter who wasn't a blood relative for the first time. Call us over-protective, but they have never been watched by someone other than us, or a mom/dad/sister/brother... crazy, I know. They LOVED it. When Melanie left I asked Julian if he had fun, and his reply was: "Yes, I love her.".

About 5 minutes after Melanie left he asked if he could write her a letter, I told him I would write it if he wanted to tell me what he would like to say. The following is the exact transcript:

Dear Melanie,

Just a note to say: dress warmly, eat well, stay safe and sound. Grow your garden very big. We're always there for you.

Love,

Julian

We delivered the letter to her, and on the way home Julian said: "Oh, no... I forgot: 'keep on smiling'..." Luckily before he could overanalyze the missed sentiment he found a bottle cap on the ground (his new favourite toy/collectable item). He then exclaimed: "Wow! This is my lucky day!".

jbxo

She.

2009-08-26T22:27:00.007-04:00

I have written about this lovely creature before... and her name has come up once again. Julian has recently taken to: "calling on" friends. As in knocking on their door, unannounced... looking for a play-date. Last night he wanted to call in on Anna, a sweet little girl who lives a few houses away from us. Unfortunately, Anna wasn't able to play, as she and her family were on their way out.

On the way home Julian trudged along, eyes on the ground. He looked up at me and said: "Mommy, Anna looked really nice. Almost like Sophia.".

I am quite certain that for the remainder of Julian's life all women will be compared against the immeasurable Sophia. Poor boy.

jbxo

I love you in the morning...

2009-07-23T21:22:00.014-04:00

I love my office. It is tiny and cozy, and decorated just the way I like it. I sit in front of a HUGE window.

Yesterday morning I was on a business call, when something out the window caught my eye. I looked a bit closer. Across the road there is a small hotel. In that hotel there are many windows. In one of those windows stood a naked man. Please understand, he was not simply walking past the window, or even pausing for a quick glance outside while deciding whether to wear a T-shirt or sweater. He was standing two inches from the window - completely and utterly naked. The windows start around knee-height and go all the way up to the ceiling. It was a full show.

Then she joined him. His lady-friend, also fully naked. They stood together and looked out the window. Don't worry, they didn't see me staring, my window is tinted (thank God) and therefore I could continue to look, without appearing perverted (and while trying to remain focused on my business call). They started to smooch a little, touch a little, and then they disappeared from view for three-and-a-half minutes (yes, I timed it on my computer clock). He then came back for a little look outside, a little scratch "down there", and that was it. Show over. Back to work. Nothing to see here. I can not imagine ever standing naked in front of a hotel window in broad daylight. I mean, at night, after a few glasses of wine, with all interior lights turned off, thus ensuring on-lookers from the outside can not possibly see in - maybe. But at 10:00am on a Wednesday morning? No.

I have no idea what picture to put with this post, so here is one of me - as naked as I'll get - in a bikini on the beach with my babies. Oh yes, I get CRAZY at 10:00am when I'm on vacation!

jbxo

I don't want to be a pirate!

2009-07-19T21:18:00.006-04:00

Julian has been fascinated by pirates for the last few weeks. I think this fascination may have resulted from a super-cool pirate book from cousin Benny's third birthday party. He even decided (in July) that he would be dressing up as a pirate for Halloween.

Saturday morning at 3am I awoke to Julian yelling: "Mommy! Mommy!" I ran to his room to find out that he had a terrible nightmare. About pirates. He was very distraught: "Mommy, the pirates locked me up on the boat, and it was scary!"

I explained to Julian that it was just a dream, there was nothing to be afraid of, and to think about all of the things he liked and he wouldn't have that dream again (my dad used to tell me this when I had nightmares of nuclear war when I was little - I know, I had some serious stuff on my mind when I was a little girl - he would tell me to think about kittens, and ice cream and clowns. He didn't know I was also afraid of clowns... but, I digress). I left the room. I climbed back into bed. I closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep...

5 minutes later:

Julian: "DADDY!"

Andrew: "Yes?"

Julian: "I don't want to be a pirate for Halloween, okay daddy?"

Andrew: "Okay."

And off to sleep he went...

jbxo

Ace!

2009-06-23T21:01:00.006-04:00

This is one of my bestest friends in the world - Pamela. We have known each other since grade 9. We were a group of four besties in high school. We graced one another with nick names that we never actually used. She was Ace. I was Lola. Now Pamela lives far away, but when I am treated to a visit from her it is as though not a day has gone by... I love that. Especially since I kinda stink as a friend, I'm terrible at "keeping in touch", returning phone calls and all of that stuff (thank goodness for the internet!).

Pamela is a very talented artist, and she has recently started a new venture, smashable art... creating custom, one-of-a-kind pinatas. You can view her wonderful creations here. Sometimes scary, sometimes funny... enjoy!

jbxo

Crazy River.

2009-06-05T20:17:00.006-04:00

You may have picked up on this by now, but Julian is a very sensitive soul. He also has a keen musical ear. He memorizes songs almost instantly, and will let you know immediately whether he is fond of a tune or not. His taste in music is pretty fantastic for a 4 year old, ranging from jazz to rock and a few old english tunes mixed in (there is nothing creepier than hearing your child sing "My Grandfather's Clock"... trust me). The Beatles are his favourite (which makes daddy smile).

He has pretty cheesy taste in radio stations, however. His station of choice is a local "easy rock" number. He loves it. He can often be heard in his room belting out a little Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston... Unfortunately the station also has Robbie Robertson's: "Somewhere Down the Crazy River" on rotation. We discovered this at 10pm one night, when we found him screaming in his room, hands over his ears, saying: "SCARY VOICES!". This song totally, completely and utterly freaks him out.

Believe it or not, Andrew's best friend is the music director at said radio station, so we were able to pull some strings and have it removed from the 8pm to 10pm time slot. This has solved a lot of bed time stress in our house. Unfortunately every once in a while it sneaks its way on the air at 8:30pm... wreaking havoc on our nightly routine.

Would it be wrong to start using it as a "time out theme tune"?...

jbxo

i love her.

2009-05-20T20:21:00.005-04:00

determined

stubborn

single-minded & silly...

isn't she lovely?

jbxo

best compliment. ever.

2009-05-03T20:29:00.007-04:00

Tonight before bed, Julian to me:

"Mommy, are you a ballerina?"

I know what you are thinking, how could he possibly think I'm a ballerina, when I am obviously a world-famous chalk artist...

jbxo

Cargo.

2009-04-09T19:50:00.004-04:00

Julian has discovered the ancient art of the "knock-knock" joke. Truly a joyful moment in every parent's life. Most of the time the jokes he puts together make absolutely no sense whatsoever. He has, however, recently found a gem:

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Cargo.

Cargo who?

Cargo beep beep!

We went to a 4th birthday party for his friend Matteo last weekend and I watched him literally work the room with this joke. Unfortunately Nora (who doesn't quite understand nor appreciate the true artistry that is the well-timed-delivery-set-up of the knock-knock joke) has gotten in on the action. This is how it has been playing out:

Julian: "Knock-knock."

Nora: "BEEP BEEP!"

It usually ends in tears.

jbxo

Doin' his Do.

2009-04-04T20:43:00.003-04:00

Julian has CRAZY hair. Don't get me wrong. I love it, but it is crazy. When his hair first began to grow as a baby it stood straight up in the air, completely defying the laws of gravity... and it has never stopped standing up. He can also thank both of his parents for the cowlicks (by the way, I have always detested that term, impossible not to imagine a cow actually licking your head).

We keep his hair fairly short - mainly because I'm not sure what would really happen if it actually grew long - would it just keep going up?

As I said though, I love it. It is crazy, it is kooky, it is Julian.

Last night as we were "having a little talk" (as he calls it) before bed he said: "Mommy... why does my hair go up? I want flat hair like the boys at school. I want hair like Alexander's.". I swear, it absolutely broke my heart. How is it possible that even at the age of 4, children are already capable of noticing what is "different" about themselves... and even sadder is they are already so desperate to be just like everyone else.

I told Julian he has magic hair, and it is beautiful. I hope he believed me, because it's true.

jbxo

Place of Origin.

2009-04-02T22:15:00.007-04:00

Discussion in the car this morning:

Julian: "Mommy, where was Nora when I was a baby?"

Me: "Ummmm, she didn't really exist... yet."

Julian: "Was she in Daddy's belly?"

Me: "No, not really..."

Julian: "Where was she, Mommy?"

Me: "Maybe she was with God."

Julian: "Did God make my sister?"

Me: "Yes, kind-of."

Julian: (laughing) "That's silly, Mommy. God made my sister like people making race cars!"

He then burst into hysterics.

I was just pleased we didn't have to venture into the "baby in Daddy's belly" territory.

jbxo

happy heart day.

2009-02-14T21:26:00.006-05:00

Photo lovingly borrowed from: amala.

Funny Julian story tonight. During his bath he stood up, held "himself" and began to sing quite loudly. Then he said: "mommy, my penis is a microphone."

I didn't really know how to respond, so I said: "I'm glad you like music."

jbxo

dee-doo.... out.

2009-02-05T20:41:00.009-05:00

Nora loves her soother. Of course no child ever calls it a "soother", do they? Nora calls hers a "dee-doo". I don't know who needs it more, her or us. We have come close to breaking the habit before, but we broke down each time. She would bang into something and scream: "DEEEEEE-DOOOOOO", or she would get sick and pathetically whimper: "dee-doo" :( How can you possibly say no?! The most frustrating part was that Miss Anna (her lovely daycare teacher) informed us that she goes the ENTIRE DAY there (including nap time) without it. Humph. Enough is enough I say.

Today Nanny picked up Julian and Nora. They got back to her house. Nora said: "Dee-doo, Nanny?"... Nanny looked around. No dee-doo. Nora got over it - quickly. Then I arrived to pick them up. Nora SCREAMED: "DEE-DOO!"... I didn't have one either. I momentarily felt a real sense of panic. Then I thought, I can do this! She cried for a moment, but again she got over it. We drove home and walked in the door, Nora ran to daddy: "DEE-DOO!"... and believe it or not, there actually wasn't one in our entire house. It also happens to be incredibly cold out today. Terrible dee-doo shopping weather. So, this was it. It was time. The forecast said so. I "pretended" to look around for said dee-doo with Nora. I explained to her that there wasn't one anywhere... then I said: "Oh, Nora! Do you know what this means?" She looked at me, wide-eyed. "This means you are a BIG GIRL NOW!" Guess what? She bought it. Tonight, for the first time in two years she went to bed without a dee-doo, and before she fell asleep she actually carried on a conversation with me. Amazing what a two-year old can say without a dee-doo in her mouth!

jbxo

Baby Daddy.

2009-02-04T22:52:00.004-05:00

Today Julian turned 4 years old.

Crazy.

This photo was taken in August of 2005. We were in New York City, and he was 6 months old (and no, that was not his Corona). How is it possible that he is 4 years old? We celebrated his birthday tonight with music, nachos and home made organic brownies - yum!

Notes from Julian in regards to turning 4:

Me: "Julian, I can't believe you are 4 years old!"

Julian: "Mommy, do I have to be a daddy now?"

Love you Jbug.

mommy jbxo

You make me feel...

2009-01-17T23:25:00.003-05:00

Tonight before bed:

Me: "Julian, I have to tell you a secret."

Julian: "What, mommy?"

Me: "You make me so happy!"

Julian: "Mommy, I have to tell you a secret."

Me: "What, Julian?"

Julian: "You make me so grumpy."

then he saw the look on my face

Julian: "I love you mommy."

jbxo

Photo: Self-portrait, courtesy of Julian

Bless you.

2009-01-08T20:47:00.005-05:00

Today I came home tired and hungry... very hungry. I was pleased to find that Andrew had dinner prepared, and was getting Julian and Nora situated at the dining room table. He asked me to put together a salad... it was a yummy one. Baby spinach, beans, chickpeas, eggs... mmmmmm. We sat down for a lovely family meal. Music playing softly in the background. All was well. For about 30 seconds. Nora started crying, which quickly turned into screaming. She didn't want to eat. Well, she didn't want to eat from her chair, she wanted to sit on mommy's lap (who could blame her?). Honestly, I would have let her sit on top of my head if I could just keep eating (so very hungry). So, Nora on my lap, pleased as punch... me munching away, trying to avoid getting pieces of egg in her hair, when it happened. Nora sneezed. A big, wet sneeze. Right over my plate. The room was silent. Andrew looked up from his plate, but I could tell he did not want our eyes to meet. He didn't want to be aware of what he knew would happen next.

Yes, I....

just

kept

eating.

jbxo

A glimpse of beauty...

2009-01-05T20:53:00.006-05:00

This takes my breath away.

Last fall mom was here for a weekend visit, and we took Julian and Nora to a local festival. We found these two girls (ladies, really) doing a chalk drawing in the middle of the festivities. They call themselves: "chalk chicks". I literally stood there, amazed, mouth agape, for about 5 minutes (or long enough for mom to come back to find me, and ask if I planned to join her for the rest of the day).

What I loved the most about this, wasn't how stunning the piece itself actually was, but the fact that something so beautiful was also so temporary as it would be washed away with the first rainfall. It made me feel special just for having seen it.

jbxo

Noo-Noo 2.

2009-01-02T23:16:00.006-05:00

Today is Nora's second birthday. I was in the shower this morning when she popped into the bathroom for a visit:

Me: "Happy Birthday Nora!"

Nora: "Santa come?"

Poor girl, her birthday will forever be shadowed by all of the glory that is Christmas.

Here she is in her new birthday toque... a must-have for winter birthdays in Canada.

Happy birthday, my little one.

jbxo

Let it snow...

2008-12-24T00:29:00.010-05:00

Putting Julian to bed tonight:

Me: "Merry Christmas Julian."

Julian: "Mommy, what is your present for Christmas?"

Me: "I don't want anything, I already have the best presents of all, you and Nora."

Julian: "Mommy! I am NOT a present!"

Me: "Okay, what do you think I should get for a present?"

Julian: "Maybe a.... shovel?"

Me: "Nice."

Julian: "Or... a watering can?"

Have a beautiful Christmas.

jbxo

Progress.

2008-12-12T23:41:00.000-05:00

I have realized that taste for the "good things" comes as a progression:

Wine.

Step 1. cheap champagne/sparkling (a la Baby Duck or Spumante Bambino)

Step 2. sweet white

Step 3. dry white

Step 4. red

Coffee.

Step 1. Frappuccino

Step 2. Cappuccino

Step 3. Latte

Step 4. Espresso (still not quite there...)

Boys.

Step 1. The bad boy.

Step 2. The really super nice guy (who you will inevitably treat terribly, because he is far too nice to you).

Step 3. The guy who treats you well, but makes you think. He loves apples. Marry this one.

jbxo

Say What?

2008-12-09T20:30:00.007-05:00

Tonight when I got home Andrew told me that Nora had been sitting beside him playing with his Blackberry. She was tapping away on the keys when he looked down and saw the following on the screen:

assol

From the fingers of babes...

jbxo

That's how I roll...

2008-12-08T20:28:00.005-05:00

A few weeks ago I went to mom & dad's farm for a visit with Julian & Nora. We were only staying one night, so I only needed one bag with all of our stuff. I packed our requirements (only the necessities, of course). I put the bag by the door. As I went to pick up the bag and deliver it to the car I couldn't help but laugh... and take a photo.

jbxo

99 bottles of...

2008-11-27T21:43:00.008-05:00

99 Posts.

Each time I sign in I see the number. Surely, I can come up with something FANTABULOUS for my 100th post. It'll be GREAT. I'll write about, hmmmmm... Let me think about it for a minute.

I have a couple of silly things that have occurred over the past few days, but are they 100th post-worthy? I'm not so sure. Ah, let's see.

Julian and Nora have been sick (again). We made a trip to the doctor yesterday, and then to the drugstore to pick up some medication for them. There was a 20 minute wait. A 20 minute wait with a sick 1 and 3 year old is like a 3 hour wait for an adult on their own. I placed (forced) Nora in the shopping cart, and Julian walked (kept running away) with us. We went down each aisle twice. I spent $58.16 on numerous items which I did not need, including a bag of organic cookies which Julian & Nora insisted I open, and they proceeded to eat (drop) half of the bag in the store. I then decided to bide the rest of our time waiting in the "waiting area" beside the pharmacy. This was a bad idea. There was a wall of various, brightly coloured brochures. Julian was perusing them. He picked out a few. I wasn't paying much attention. I was too busy picking up dropped/mushed cookies from the floor. He brought a brochure over to me. "Mommy, this is for you." The cover read: "Women's Sexual Health". Great. Okay Julian, let's start walking again. Down another aisle. Lots of people. Julian lagging behind us. Suddenly I hear: "Wait! WAIT! Mommy, YOU NEED THIS!". He runs towards me. Everyone in the aisle turns towards him. Clenched in his little hand is a bottle of KY lubricant. I think it was shaped like a penis.

Happy 100th Blog!

jbxo

Oh, it was my pleasure...

2008-11-16T21:34:00.010-05:00

My Sista, Julian, Nora and I went to our mom & dad's farm this weekend for a visit. We had a great time. Their satellite TV was not working, and that turned out to be a good thing as we spent the evening looking through old photo albums while enjoying a lovely bottle of wine. We discovered a sweet little keepsake book that mom had put together when my brother was a baby. I was reading through the flower delivery cards mom had received in the hospital. They were of the usual just-had-a-baby variety: "Congratulations!" "Lot's of love..." "It's a boy!" etc. Until I came across the one from my dad. It's so sweet that he had flowers delivered to her, and I couldn't help picture him ordering them over the phone (young, excited... slightly nervous):

Dad: "Uh, yah... hi. I would like to order some flowers."

Flower Lady: "Wonderful sir, I will make out the card for you, what would you like it to say?"

(Keep in mind I can hear my dad blush when I say "I love you" over the phone... there is usually a long pause on the other end of the line, then he says: "Um, yah... same here, bye.")

Dad: "Um... Thanks for... the son."

Flower Lady: "And, who shall I sign it from?"

Dad: "Johnny."

Awww... love you daddy.

jbxo

I am... NOT.

2008-11-10T19:58:00.004-05:00

Driving home tonight:

Me: "Nora, are you a good girl?"

Nora: "Yes."

Me: "Are you a funny girl?"

Nora: "Yes."

Me: "Are you a silly girl?"

Nora: "Yes."

Me: "Are you a pretty girl?"

Nora: "Yes."

Me: "Are you a smart girl?"

Nora: "NO!"

And she looked at me with complete and utter disgust.

jbxo

I love her.

2008-11-08T23:34:00.006-05:00

Andrew has brought Julian ice skating every week for the past three weeks, bless him.

Julian HATES it.

Julian: "Ice is slippery. I don't like skating, mommy."

Last weekend was a debacle, or so I hear. I was "busy" around the house with Nora. To be honest, I am not one for skating, or arenas in general. I would much rather be at home, doing... "stuff".

Nanny and Pop were there to witness the debacle last weekend, from all accounts Julian was paralyzed with fear. He had a big fall the weekend before, and had not gotten over it. He would not move. Well, until the lady in the yellow coat came along. She had a daughter of her own. She saw Julian crying and she came to the rescue. She inspired him to skate. I have to be honest, Nanny sent me photos, but I didn't think much of the entire situation. Until later this week. I was driving Julian to his first eye exam. Out of nowhere he said:

"Mommy, I don't like skating."

Me: "No?"

Julian: "No mommy, ice is slippery."

Me: "Oh."

Julian: "The lady in the yellow coat help me mommy."

Me: "I know, she was nice."

Julian: "I want a mommy just like her."

Me: "Julian! You already have a mommy."

Julian: "I love her, mommy."

Me: "Really, what about your own mommy?"

Julian: "I love you too mommy. I love two ladies."

My heart sank.

My stomach ached.

My son loves TWO ladies.

I guess I'll be going to the arena from now on.

jbxo

It's all about me.

2008-10-27T14:34:00.008-04:00

Today is my birthday.

I LOVE birthdays.

Usually I force everyone around me to celebrate "me" for the entire month of October.

Not this year. I felt I was maturing. I wanted to keep my birthday low-key.

I booked Friday and Monday off of work. My plan was to run all sorts of errands on Friday, and maybe sneak in a mani-pedi if I had a spare hour. Saturday mom was due to arrive, Andrew and I would be able to go out for a lovely dinner. Sunday we would take Julian and Nora to a pumkin patch, and Monday would be "mom & me day". We would shop from morning until night. Nothing crazy. No huge parties. No drunken debacles. Oh yes, I have matured...

Wednesday night my throat started to hurt.

Thursday struggled through work with a fever.

Friday Nora was sent home at noon with a fever.

Saturday, Sunday today... Nora and I sick, sick, sick.

Not quite the birthday weekend I had planned. However, there were some nice little treats along the way.

On Friday I received the sweetest apple card from Tania in Belgium via snail mail. She really is a little sweetheart.

Last night Andrew surprised me with some of my favourite wine and gifts from him and the children (including a card Julian selected that says: "For a cool boy, a birthday race car VROOM VROOM!").

This morning Nanny arrived with lots of new jammies.

Today mom still came to visit for a few days, and she is cooking me my favourite meal for dinner (Sista is joining us as well, always a treat!).

Nora has wanted nothing more than for me to hold her for three days in a row.

Happy birthday to me!

jbxo

P.S. Today I look nothing like this photo. But it's my birthday - so I am allowed to use a photo from a time when my nose was not running profusely.

A rose by any other name...

2008-10-18T13:35:00.009-04:00

Nora can say everyone's names, or at least make recognizable attempts at them:

"Mommy"

"Daddy"

"Ju-Ju" (Julian)

"Voviver" (Oliver)

"Mama" (Grandma)

"Pappa"

"Nanny"

"Pop"

"Ti-Ti" (Auntie Shari)

"Jenny"

"Kee" (Auntie Kari)

"In" (Uncle Ian)

"Benny"

"Rad" (Uncle Brad)

"Isa" (Auntie Lisa)

"Rordan" (Jordan)

"Bajco" (Jacob)

Up until now, she would not even attempt to say her own name. It was actually becoming very frustrating. You could go through the list of names above, and she would repeat every single one of them, then you would say: "Nora" silence...

That was until last night. I was rhyming off the usual list, and I got to Nora... her response?

"Zsa Zsa"

Well, at least her Hungarian Poppa will be happy.

jbxo

Thank you to my dear friend Tara from Seven Spoons who surprised me by aging this photo.

Words.

2008-10-15T20:59:00.014-04:00

Wordle pulls the most common words used in any document, and transforms it into, well - this. It makes the most commonly used words the largest. Tonight I decided to make my own wordle using a link to Clinka's Apples.

It reminds me of our wedding cake. It was white, and written in white icing were words that had special meaning for us as we fell in love.

Little. Powerful. Words.

I like it. I think it's a framer.

jbxo

Splish Splash.

2008-10-15T20:28:00.006-04:00

Tonight Julian and Nora were sharing a bubble bath. Nora spent 5 minutes washing Julian's back. Julian just sat and played, unaware of her being a little mommy. I couldn't help but think what a beautiful moment I was witnessing. They have such a stunning innocence at their age. No self awareness, no self consciousness, they just exist, they just are.

jbxo

All in the family...

2008-10-13T20:28:00.011-04:00

When my Sista started blogging in 2006 I thought it was pure genious (that is her pictured above, poor girl had no idea Julian was quickly approaching her head with a tennis racket!). If you have some time, have a read through her blog... I promise you will laugh out loud more than once. I love how she writes. In May 2007 she stopped writing, I keep trying to convince her to go back to it, but I have not been successful... YET. I thank her for introducing me to the world of blogging.

I started my blog last year, and nanny started shortly after. This past week my cousin-in-law started and now Jenny has as well! I love it. Now, we just have to get Sista back.

jbxo

Old Friends...

2008-09-28T22:14:00.008-04:00

Stranger: "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Julian: "Yes."

Stranger: "What is her name?"

Julian: "Sophia."

Can you blame him?

jbxo

La Lou.

2008-09-24T19:31:00.007-04:00

I am quite certain this is the universal translation used to say: "I love you" for all children under the age of two. Every night, as I tuck Nora into her bed she says this loudly as I leave the room. They are the two most beautiful words in the world.

A few days ago Nora awoke from a nap. The following was our conversation. Keep in mind, she has no idea what she is saying, and was merely utilizing her limited vocabulary, but that doesn't make it any less humorous.

Me: "What did you dream about, Nora?"

Nora: "Daddy."

Me: "What was Daddy doing?"

Nora: "Mommy."

Bless her cotton socks.

jbxo

Sleepy Fish.

2008-09-16T22:16:00.006-04:00

Nora went to mama & pappa's farm for a week this summer. My mom and dad have a beautiful fish pond at the side of their house. Nora would have been content to spend the entire day sitting beside the pond watching the fish (see above photos). When she came home from the farm visit, she suddenly developed an interest in Nemo, our pet fish, which was a gift from nanny, and had been entirely ignored by both children until that point.

Unfortunately, Nemo has not been "well" as of late. He has become increasingly lethargic over the past week and a half. Now he spends all of his time lying on his side at the bottom of the bowl (I am basically counting down the days to his death, and just do not have the heart to flush him). Nora will walk up to the bowl, point and say: "Fishy, eat.". At this point you have to pick her up and shake the bowl so that Nemo will attempt to swim. Then as he slowly sinks to the bottom again she will look at you, and there is confusion in those beautiful brown eyes - so of course I feel the need to offer some sort of explanation. All I could think of as a response is: "Fishy is sleepy".

Tonight during Nora's bath she was playing with a plastic fish in the tub. She made the fish swim. She filled it with water. She dumped it out. She lay the fish on it's side on the edge of the tub, said: "Night-night Fishy" and gave it a kiss.

jbxo

Prodigy.

2008-09-14T20:11:00.007-04:00

Julian tonight:

"I need a musical instrument, mommy... so I can make music."

(Thoughts of Julliard begin twirling through my my mind. Julian, child prodigy, musical genious, seated at a piano, or on a stool playing accoustic guitar. In a theatre filled to capacity. All eyes on him. I look at Julian, he looks back at me, very serious expression.)

"Mommy. I need a tuba."

jbxo

One.Bad.Day.

2008-09-12T19:22:00.016-04:00

I am very aware that life is grand, and I am an incredibly lucky girl... however I just need to divulge the details of today.

1. It was pouring rain all day. When I brought Julian and Nora to daycare this morning we had to park across the road and run across (me in high heels and a dress). Half way there Julian decided that he wanted to "play". I had taken my umbrella out of my purse, and left it in my office yesterday, assuming I wouldn't need it.

2. I had my annual "lady" doctors appointment, which I had to leave work for. Yuck.

3. I had a MAJOR wardrobe malfunction on the way back, when the slit on the side of my dress became approximately 3 inches higher than it should be as I exited the car from the aforementioned doctors appointment.

4. My hair was in a bun, but it kept falling out.

5. I work in an office, often I have meetings away from my office, on "site". Today was one of those days (yes, a meeting with various managers in a dress with a slit up to my...). I also have to pick up Julian and Nora from daycare on Fridays - I have to be there by 5pm. I left the 9th floor of the parking garage at 4:15pm - PLENTY of time. I reached the 8th floor. STOP. The cars were not moving. Next came about 5 frantic, tear-filled phone calls from my cell phone to daycare, nanny, and sista-in-law, Kee to arrange an alternate pick up. Bless Kee who picked up both children, sleeping bags (they send them home every two weeks), crafts, shoes, coats, hats (while also carrying her own two year old), and somehow managed it all with a smile.

6. Children in car. Exhausted. Driving down the highway home. BEEP. No gas. Made it to the gas station on fumes. Got out. Gas cap would not unlock. Had to ask a stranger to press the release button while I jammed a paperclip in to open it up (yes, all while wearing a dress with a slit up to my, you know). My hands now covered in a mysterious black, oily substance. Also forgot that gas prices rose overnight. It cost $70 to fill my VW Beetle.

7. Home. Done. Finished. Hungry children. Hungry mommy. Grocery day is tomorrow. Pancakes and fruit for dinner.

Tonight I will be having a BIG glass of wine before bed. Maybe a bubble bath as well...

jbxo

The Nose Knows.

2008-09-09T20:20:00.008-04:00

Before bed tonight I decided to let Julian know exactly how I feel:

Me: "Julian, I have to tell you... I think you are grand, and I love you so very much. Mommy is so happy to have such a special, wonderful little boy."

Pause...

Julian: "Mommy?"

(then, he broke into his own made-up song)

"I don't know how to touch your nose.

I don't know how to touch your nose.

I try, and try, and try and try...

but I don't know how to touch your nose..."

jbxo

Farm life... and death.

2008-08-28T20:23:00.009-04:00

My parent's farm is a wonderful place to visit. Especially with Julian and Nora. They are in a constant state of awe. From the moment they step out of the car, you can see the sense of freedom register on their faces. They can run, and jump and play without constant direction from us - because there is just so much space and it is so safe.

There is, however a dark side to farm life, that I remember quite well from my youth. Farm children learn about death at a young age, whether it is from losing pet dogs to a variety of vehicle mishaps (must explain that one in a future post) or running over a toad with the tractor (by accident of course), no one had to explain death to me.

We decided to bring the children to the farm for a sleep over this week, and we were inundated with insect/animal deaths:

Experience #1: We were roaming around the barn, and Nora was busy playing her favourite game of "throw pebbles into the grate". I walked over to the grate, peered inside, to find a dead bird at the bottom. I told my mom to come and take a look. Of course, Julian followed and said: "What is that bird doing?". We all just looked at each other, unsure of who was going to break the news, we all silently decided to move along and not discuss it.

Experience #2: There is a huge greenhouse on the farm, and one of my FAVOURITE hobbies as a little girl was collecting the unfortunate butterflies who made their way into the greenhouse, but couldn't find their way out. They die in the heat under the glass, and dry beautifully. My mom brought out a box of butterflies for me from the greenhouse during our visit (see photo), and again Julian said: "What are the butterflies doing?". Silence.

Experience #3: We had managed to avoid the "death talk" through the entire visit, and were about to go into the house for dinner before the two hour drive home. Julian was walking up the stairs to the porch with Grandpa, when I heard Julian say: "Grandpa. What is that bug doing?" then I heard STOMP! Grandpa smooshed the bug with his (very heavy) work boot. Julian was in hysterics: "I wanted to see the bug!!! Grandpa killed the bug!!!". Needless to say, we didn't have to explain that the bug was dead, and Grandpa has learned that his grandson is all city...

On a lighter note, a few sweet pre-bed words from Julian tonight:

"Mommy, I will always be with you, and I will always take care of you when things go wrong."

I have no idea where a 3.5yr old comes up with this stuff... but I'll take it.

jbxo

For her birthday...

2008-08-21T21:15:00.015-04:00

Today Ava should be 5 years old. I wrote this for her lovely mum Sheye a while ago, and wanted to share it today...

when you feel the tears begin to flow, let them go

they fill the pond with water for the mermaid to have a swim

when you feel the butterflies in your tummy, let them go

so they can fly to her and make her smile

when you feel that your world is spinning out of control, let it

it will help to turn the carousel where she is enjoying a beautiful ride

fly Superprincess... fly.

jbxo

I don't want to grow up.

2008-08-19T21:51:00.006-04:00

Julian stayed in Nora's room tonight as I was getting her ready for bed. The lights were out, curtains drawn, soft music playing while I rocked her to sleep.

Julian: "Mommy, I want to be a baby again."

Me: "Why?"

Julian: "Because it is nice to be a baby."

Me: "But, it is nice to be a big boy too."

Julian: "No, being a big boy is lousy."

jbxo

Trouble.

2008-08-18T22:32:00.006-04:00

It was lovely out tonight. I decided to go for a walk with Julian and Nora. Julian rode his bike. Nora "walked" behind her bike pushing it. All was well. We made it half way around the block when suddenly Nora decided she didn't want to wear shoes. She sat on the side walk, tossed her little orange crocs to the side, and began running across someone's lawn. I tried to politely explain to her that she needed to wear shoes while out for a walk, there could be glass, not to mention a million other disgusting things on the ground. She wouldn't hear of it. It got ugly, quick. Little, 20 pound Nora, threw herself on the sidewalk, screaming, scrunched up little fists pounding the ground. Me, still in work skirt, blouse and heels, picked her up, and and marched home as quickly as one can while carrying a screaming child, pink tricycle, two orange crocs and a hat. By the time we arrived at our house, it was all I could do to get them inside (what must the neighbours be thinking?...). I sat on the couch with Julian, trying to ignore Nora's whimpers. She walked up to me, and I looked down. She had put her shoes on, and she was smiling.

Trouble.

jbxo

My love & things.

2008-08-02T21:10:00.007-04:00

One of my favourite things about Andrew is that he knows about things. He knows about music things, book things, world things, just things in general. I really like that about him, because when I reach the point where I feel I must be aware of all things, he suggests a song I should listen to, or a website I should check out, etc. Just the other day he introduced me to the work of Banksy. I am in love all over again...

Thank you sweet pea, for sharing so many beautiful things. Happy 6 Years.

jbxo

He knows too much.

2008-07-22T20:21:00.002-04:00

Tonight before bed:

Julian: "Mommy, I am growing a mustache, because I am a big boy."

Me: "Really?"

Julian: "Yes. Mommy, why do boys grow mustaches?"

Me: "Um, because they are boys, and boys grow hair on their face."

Julian: "Mommy, why do you have a mustache?"

I have now realized it was not a good idea to bring Julian to my last waxing appointment.

jbxo

The thing about Nora is...

2008-07-19T23:16:00.006-04:00

She is very fickle with her affection. Although she doesn't speak much, if you ask her for a hug or a kiss she will always say, quite clearly: "No." and will then continue about her business. Today I was playing with Julian. Nora was busy drawing on her own. Out of nowhere she walked up to me, put her hands on either side of my face and kissed me. Twice. I was shocked and thrilled all at once. She looked at me, smiled, turned and walked away. I got greedy: "Nora, can I have another kiss?" Her answer: "No."

jbxo

Tales from Heaven.

2008-07-15T20:18:00.009-04:00

Driving with Julian last week:

Julian: "Mommy, what is that?"

Me: "A church."

Julian: "I don't like church."

Me: "I thought you liked church."

Julian: "I like the singing, but not the talking."

Tonight before bed:

Julian: "Remember before I was a baby, when I was in heaven?"

Me: "You were? What was it like?"

Julian: "There was an office."

Then there is little Nora, she doesn't say much, but man, she's cute, even when she is hidden under a big hat.

jbxo

From your hands to mine...

2008-07-13T22:44:00.016-04:00

As I have previously confessed, we rarely check our mail. Once, maybe twice a week. I hadn't checked it since Monday, and I thought I better go take a look tonight. It was the regular haul: one fashion magazine, three bills, two flyers... and tucked away at the bottom of the pile, a little treasure. A pretty envelope, with unfamiliar handwriting, and an Air Mail sticker... my curiosity was peaked. I opened the envelope, and what a treat. It was a lovely card from a blog friend in Belgium who had the wonderful idea a few months ago, that a group of us girls who often comment on one another's blogs should exchange snail mail addresses, so that on birthdays and other special occasions we can send each other mail. Well, she surprised me with a lovely card, and a handmade "Clinka's Apples" magnet! I was actually in tears that someone I barely know, in another country took the time to make something for me! Isn't it lovely? It now has it's own little home on my (very cluttered) fridge.

Thank you Tania, you made me smile today!

jbxo

Now that is GOOD shopping...

2008-07-09T20:16:00.011-04:00

From now on I am only shopping on Etsy. Where else can you find a chocolate brown decal with all of your family's names to hang on the wall above your bed?

Oh, and how about a family of "little people" custom made as your actual family. Love Etsy. Thank you Elephannie and Gemmielou!

jbxo

Oh, and thanks to Sheye for telling us about Gemmie's "little people"!

As is.

2008-06-25T19:59:00.005-04:00

I like Ikea. I LOVE Ikea showrooms. I have come to a sad realization though. The showroom is a lie. The tidy, clean toddler room. The immaculate kitchen. The bathroom with no long hairs strewn about. The laundry room that makes you WANT to iron something. Everything looks "lived in" yet "perfect" - a combination that does not actually exist in real life. I have decided that from now on instead of starting my Ikea shopping experience by lolling about dreamily through the showrooms, I am going to begin in the "As Is" section, since it is a far more accurate representation of reality, and how your furniture will look two months after bringing it home.

jbxo

Not fair.

2008-06-18T22:33:00.011-04:00

I received wonderful news via email this week, that a lovely friend gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. She included this photo in her email. As happy as I am for her, I can't help but be rather perplexed that she looked this good just moments after giving birth. I have reviewed photos of myself post-baby-birthing, and there was no such glow on my face. My hair was a disaster... I think I was actually wearing my babushka for Nora's birth - poor girl. I looked like I had been through a major battle... and lost. I was pale, blotchy, shiny and altogether messy. This must be why there were no photos included in my "welcome to the world" emails.

CONGRATULATIONS!

jbxo

Open.

2008-06-07T12:25:00.007-04:00

I did it! I finally went to the art supply store, purchased a pad of beautiful paper, and two proper drawing pens. I sat at the dining room table. I drew.

It felt really, really good.

Here it is. This piece is called "Open". I donated it to a silent auction at work. Oddly enough, as good as it felt to draw it, it almost felt better to give it away. I love the thought of something I created sitting in someone else's home. A few more and I can open my Etsy shop.

jbxo

Ladybug.

2008-06-05T22:29:00.012-04:00

I grew up on a farm in a small town. My dad is a farmer, he is now retired. My dad has the biggest hands you have ever seen. He is very social, and makes new friends wherever he goes. He once met a sweet couple at a coffee shop, and invited them back to our house for a visit. He couldn't understand why mom wasn't pleased. In the summer he makes trades from his garden with the local merchants for milk, bread and eggs. When I was 18 Canadian music legend Ronnie Hawkins was at our house to look at one of my dad's 1967 Chargers (for a period of time he collected them). Ronnie ended up at the kitchen table for a two hour visit. My dad worked hard his entire life, and even though he is now officially "retired" he has a full time job selling miscilaneous seed, because he likes to be out and about, talking to people. On the hottest, most awful days in the field when a truck would pull up dad would say: "Smile, everybody...". Dad wakes up every day happy, just because. Always has, and I hope he always will. He gets really embarrassed if you say: "I love you", and he won't say it back... but he hugs so tight it almost hurts.

He doesn't like the city, or being in other peoples houses, so when they come for a visit he often leaves and goes for a drive. On one visit we went to a small town to look in some shops. My sister and I saw some ornamental ladybugs, and we fell in love with them. We left the store and continued on our way when out of nowhere dad presented us each with a tissue-wrapped surprise. He had bought us each a ladybug when we weren't looking. I keep that ladybug beside my bed, it is the first thing I see each morning. It reminds me to wake up every day happy, just because.

jbxo

Joe Joe.

2008-06-03T19:52:00.004-04:00

This may seem like a gross exaggeration, but I swear, this ENTIRE conversation took place tonight before bed:

Julian: "Mommy, tonight I would like to use my Sponge Bob Hair Pants toothpaste."

Me: "Umm, it's Sponge Bob SQUARE Pants."

Julian: "No, Noah says it's HAIR Pants Mommy, he is a piece of cheese."

Me: "He is a SPONGE, Julian."

Julian: "That's just silly, Mommy."

Later, keep in mind, he had been looking at my old Beetlejuice cards this weekend.

Julian: "Mommy, why does Maplejuice eat bugs?"

Even Later, while being tucked into bed, I put his favourite mixed CD "DJ Duckie, Licence to Quack", and the song "Peanut Butter & Jelly" came on.

Julian (singing along): "Peanut, peanut butter, and Joe Joe."

I couldn't even bear to correct him at this point.

jbxo

Poop.

2008-05-27T20:15:00.009-04:00

It is inevitable. At some point in the life of every child, they think the word "poop" is the funniest thing in the world, and will use it at every given opportunity.

Examples:

Sunday night, trying to get Julian to poo on the potty:

Me: "Come on Julian, you can do it."

Julian: "Mommy, you are a Poo-Poo head."

Tonight on the way home from daycare:

Me: "Julian, what did you have for lunch today?"

Julian: "Soup."

Me: "What kind of soup?"

Julian: "Poop soup and chicken and hamburger poop."

Of course both occasions were followed by hearty laughter (on Julian's part) over just how hilarious he is.

Then there is little Noo-Noo... sure, she takes my breath away now, just wait until she starts calling me a Poo-Poo head.

jbxo

It's Freeday!

2008-05-21T20:28:00.003-04:00

Tuesday morning's conversation with Julian:

Julian: "Today is Freeday."

Me: "Really, what do you do on Freeday?"

Julian: "You play video games when it's Freeday, 'cause that's a new month..."

jbxo

Move over Starbucks...

2008-05-19T21:08:00.008-04:00

Andy was right. Last summer, we stopped by our friend's house for a quick morning visit. He offered me what he promised to be "the best cup of coffee ever". I liked it, a lot. I accomplished more after that one cup of coffee than I had in a long time... Every grocery trip I looked for the black bag of savoury beans, that goes by the name of Kicking Horse, but my search was always unsuccessful. Until yesterday. It turns out they are now selling it at a store around the block from our house. AMAZING STUFF... clean, strong, yummy... Let's just say it's been a very productive day!

jbxo

My works of art.

2008-05-12T20:12:00.005-04:00

Julian has discovered my tattoos. I have three:

A fish on my foot.

A fish with wings on my belly.

A globe with a flower in it on my belly.

As I work in a fairly conservative office, I must ensure my tattoos are covered up at all times, which is normally fine, until the arrival of spring. I LOVE to wear skirts with bare legs, and lovely little shoes... Unfortunately, in order to comply with office policy, I am required to add a bandage to my wardrobe to cover my foot tattoo... completely destroying the "look" - and prompting the question of "What happened to your foot?" all day long.

I was 18 years old when I had this first tattoo done, and I recall my mom saying: "One day you will regret getting a tattoo on top of your foot. What if you work in an office, and have to cover it up?" My sassy 18-year-old reply: "Mom, I will NEVER work in an OFFICE! I'm going to be a famous actor, or an artist!." Ooops.

Last week I was getting ready for work (skirt - check, shoes - check, bandage - check) when Julian pointed at my foot and began to cry:

Me: "What is the matter?"

Julian: "Your painting is gone!"

Me: "My painting?"

Julian: "Why is your fishy painting gone?"

Sad...

Then the next day he asked to see the fish with wings on my belly:

Julian: "Why did people paint a fish on your tummy?"

The beauty of being a child... everything is a masterpiece.

jbxo

I'll love you forever...

2008-05-11T20:04:00.003-04:00

Thank you for always being so strong.

Thank you for showing you could also be weak (just a couple of times).

Thank you for letting me hold on to your legs while you tried to do, everything...

Thank you for always being there.

Thank you for letting me go.

Thank you for loving me, always, truly, utterly, completely, unconditionally.

Thank you for laughing, even when I'm not all that funny.

Thank you for being beautiful.

Thank you for making me feel beautiful.

Thank you for loving my babies.

Thank you for teaching me more than you'll ever know.

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for listening.

Thank you for being my best friend.

I love you more than you could imagine.

jbxo

Beauty Full.

2008-05-02T22:33:00.012-04:00

For me, the most wondrous moments in life tend to occur amidst the most "normal" situations... finding beauty in the every day. I thought about this during breakfast one day this week, over some cinnamon raisin toast with the children, when, out of nowhere, Julian made Nora laugh one of her belly laughs, and then I began to laugh out loud, even though I had no idea what we were actually laughing about. Then there is this moment captured on film above. Nanny sent me this photo from last Sunday of Julian and Nora, and it simply took my breath away. The two little people I had a part in creating, holding hands, Julian looking back at Nora, just making sure she is okay.

Sheye summed it up perfectly: Beauty Full.

jbxo

The Good, The Bad, and...

2008-04-29T19:58:00.003-04:00

Our pre-bed dialogue tonight:

Julian: "Mommy, there are good news, and bad news."

Me: "Really..."

Julian: "Yes. The good news are, you my best friend."

Me: "Oh?"

Julian: "The bad news are, you are not my best friend."

jbxo

The Way I See It #27

2008-04-25T20:37:00.007-04:00

I stopped by Starbucks this afternoon to treat myself to a vanilla latte (my new favourite Starbucks beverage, and my second for the day... naughty). I enjoy reading the quotes on Starbucks cups, but I particularly enjoyed the one I discovered on my afternoon cup:

"Do not kiss your children so they will kiss you back but so they will kiss their children, and their children's children."

Noah benShea (Poet/Philosopher)

You can also be immortalized on a Starbucks cup by submitting your very own "The Way I See It".

I'm sure to find fame somehow...

jbxo

Beautiful Boy.

2008-04-22T20:11:00.001-04:00

This is my lovely Andrew, when he was just a wee tot. I love this photo. The expression on his face is so... him. Cute, yet intelligent... actually, too intelligent for a child. When I broke up with the fella I was dating prior to Andrew I told my mom that I was bored, and I wanted a challenge. Andrew certainly fit that bill... I have never been bored since.

I love you, beautiful boy. Happy Birthday.

jbxo

Belly.

2008-04-13T21:40:00.003-04:00

Julian: "I want to be a big brother."

Me: "You are a big brother, Nora is your little sister."

Julian: "I want another little sister."

Me: "Where would you get another little sister?"

Julian: "At the store."

Me: "Do you remember where Nora came from?"

Julian: "Your belly."

Me: "Do you know where you came from?"

Julian: "Daddy's belly."

jbxo

Plop.

2008-04-07T21:28:00.012-04:00

Nora has the biggest, plopiest tears you have ever seen. I'm not sure if it is the consistency of the tears themselves, or the architecture of her cheeks, but when she cries you are sure to find at least one big, fat tear perched on her cheek. This morning Nora had a bit of a cry at the start of breakfast, and for the remainder of the meal this tear sat on her cheek. She ate an entire piece of toast, drank a full cup of juice, the tear did not move. It is truly a wonder to behold. Don't be sad though, as you can see breakfast ended in "big smiles".

jbxo

Nee Na Na Nee Na Na Nee Na...

2008-03-28T22:37:00.006-04:00

Long before I had children, Andrew told me about this amazing little song, consisting of two sounds: "Na and Nee", which, when strung together with a lovely melody would instantly lull him into a sweet slumber. Sometimes he would sing it to me, and I had to admit, I felt instantly at ease. The song has been passed down for at least four generations in Andrew's family. His great grandmother sang it to his grandmother, his grandmother sang it to his mother, his mother sang it to him, and now we sing it to Julian and Nora when needed. The power of this song is undeniable - it is reserved for only those moments when all other forms of child-calming fail. It works, like magic, every time. Nee Na Na Nee Na Na Nee Na. Sweet dreams.

jbxo

Selfless...

2008-03-21T19:56:00.008-04:00

I feel blessed to have people in my life who are just, plain wonderful. It is a very special feeling to be moved by the actions of friends. For 13 years I had lost contact with my university roommate. After school she moved to Italy to model, as I was busy trying to be famous. We "found" each other again, through Facebook this summer. She invited us to come to her wedding, even though it was only a week away (I still regret not going). After the wedding she shared absolutely stunning photos. I sat at my computer, and cried. What moved me the most wasn't the fact that she is truly one of the most beautiful girls I know, but the following story which she told me later: The plan was for the children to walk in first, then Aaryn and Francesco would follow. As they were waiting to enter, the children became very nervous, and said they wanted to walk with the bride and groom to be. I have to be honest, if you put me in that situation - on my wedding day - MY MOMENT - I'm not sure how I would react. Especially since the children weren't theirs. As you can see, however, her reaction (and Francesco's) was nothing but stunning. Huge smile on her face, toddler thrown casually on one hip, beautiful. I truly think this is one of the most inspiring moments I have ever seen.

Thank you, Aaryn. For being gorgeous, wonderful, and you.

jbxo

Where do you live?

2008-03-20T22:45:00.004-04:00

Today Julian was healthy and made his grand return to daycare. The following was our conversation during the morning drive:

Me: "Julian, where do you live?"

Julian: "Canada."

Me: "Where do Auntie Jenny and Great Nanny Noo-Noo live?"

Julian: "England."

Me: "Where does Mommy live?"

Julian: "Work."

Ouch.

jbxo

Sickies.

2008-03-17T12:41:00.010-04:00

When you first begin to tell people that you are pregnant, they express pure joy and excitement for you. As your pregnancy progresses people will begin to tell you about all of the sleepless nights you are in for. Once you are between 7 and 9 months preggers, complete strangers will find joy in describing the extreme pain and torture associated with childbirth. Many will, without invitation, even share their own personal birthing stories. There is one thing no one will warn you about, though... and I'm unsure why. No one will warn you about the sickies. The fact that the beautiful newborn you cuddle in your arms will one day leave the house to go to daycare or school, and for the next two years will either have a fever, snotty nose, runny poo, or something equally distressing. Once every few weeks you will find yourself sending an email, or making a phone call to work at 6am, letting them know that, yes, once again - you will not be in today. Well, I am breaking the code of silence, and spreading the word. Little ones get sick.... A LOT!

jbxo

Almost Famous.

2008-03-07T21:11:00.008-05:00

I graduated from university with a major in Theatre. I couldn't understand why my parents seemed disappointed when I proudly announced at the dinner table that "becoming famous" was my career path of choice. After four years in university I was the proud owner of a Bachelor of Arts degree. The world was my oyster. Step 1 to becoming famous: getting my "headshots" taken. $400 worth of professional photos of my face later, I was on a bus to the big city to find an agent. The first agency I met with informed me that I was the "next big thing". I had "the look" they wanted, and my education was a bonus. They called me their next "leading lady". Then they asked me for a $150 "registration fee". Unfortunately, I didn't know that this is not common practice among reputable agencies. I didn't research who the reputable agencies were. I WAS GOING TO BE FAMOUS! I didn't have to worry about such trivial details! Two weeks later I left my car unlocked over night, and someone stole the leather portfolio containing all of my photos (it still gives me the creeps to think of what may have become of 50 8x10 photos of my face). I phoned my agency for advice: "We're sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service. Please check the number and try your call again. This is a recording." $550 lighter, and 13 years later, I have realized this building is as close as I will ever come to seeing my name in lights. It was taken by a dear friend who lives in that same big city. Oddly enough I have driven past this wall a few times over the past 13 years. Every time I see it my chest puffs up a little bit, and I can't help but smile.

jbxo